I was born in Springs and raised in Benoni, where my childhood was active, outdoors,

and full of movement. I climbed trees, rode bikes, played sport, and spent very little

time sitting still. Sport was always part of who I was.

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At school and university, I competed in tennis and hockey at a national level.  But there

was always something just missing — not physically obvious, but enough to hold me back

from becoming truly exceptional. My father called it the 'Killer Instinct'.

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At the time, I believed it was genetic. That I simply didn’t have the speed, the physiology, or

the natural ability required.

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Looking back, I see it differently.

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What held me back wasn’t my body — it was my mind. Subtle but persistent patterns:

negative self-talk, moments of self-doubt, playing small, and a lack of consistent belief

in my own ability. These weren’t constant, but they were enough to shape my outcomes.

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Like many of us, these patterns are formed early in childhood. The nature of life is messy.

Our environment shapes us — the way we were raised, what we were told and what we

witnessed. Childhood experiences, both good and bad, creates the narratives and thoughts

we carry into adulthood. I had been raised to be helpful, considerate, polite and modest.

All good personality characteristics. 

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I went on to study extensively — Sports Science, Biokinetics, Physiotherapy, and eventually

completing a PhD in Physiology. I lectured at university level and built what, from the outside,

looked like a successful and stable life.

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But internally, there was still a sense of restlessness. A lack of clear direction.A tendency to start and stop, to work hard but not always move forward in a focused way. Procrastination mixed with perfection. 

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I was delighted to become a mother at 40 years old.  Seriously. 

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Children have an uncanny way of revealing the parts of us we didn't know were there. 

They don’t create those cracks - they simply shine a light on them. 

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I had always believed that I was calm, patient, and in control. This was not the case.

Despite my academic understanding of the brain and nervous system, I realised that I wasn’t

consistently able to understand or regulate my own emotional responses. 

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I also realised that I lacked boundaries and an inability to say No. I was an adult who avoided

confrontation. I was a 'people-pleaser' and a rescuer.  And it did affect the quality of my life. 

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That realisation forced me to look deeper. The only way to do this was to take myself out of my comfort zone and observe my responses. Endurance sport became and is still a powerful part of that process for me.

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In doing so I began to explore how my brain had been shaped — the patterns, the narratives, the

automatic responses : compassionately, and without too much blame. I began to understand

that these patterns were not fixed. I reluctantly gave up my victim status. 

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I started to embrace the plasticity of my brain. With awareness and the right approach,

the brain can change. It’s not always perfect, and it’s not easy. Like anything meaningful it

does take time and commitment. But it starts with one thing: self-awareness.

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Six years ago, I turned 50. Although I am grateful for every year on this planet, the 50year

milestone was not a big celebration for me. I started to feel old. The thought (and start)

of impending menopause started messing with my head: was I now old, useless, weak

and on-the-shelf?  I needed to really test myself, physically and mentally.  I decided that

change was needed; I needed to find my inner spark. That’s when I came up with my own

self planned endurance challenge. I called it my 12 x 12. There is a link to it at the bottom

of this page. 

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Embodied work such as 'safe' physical endurance challenges have a way of stripping things

down. When the body is tired, cold and hungry and the environment is uncertain, the brain’s protective responses become very clear: Fear shows up. Doubt shows up. The urge to stop shows up. 

And yet something else shows up too. You get a chance to observe your response, pause, challenge your thoughts and start the process of neural plasticity (aka 'rewiring your neural patterns'). The end result is: the ability to continue, better emotional regulation, confidence and anti-fragility. Traits that not only help you finish tough physical challenges, but traits that help you become a better human being, parent, partner and work performer.  

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Today, I continue to pursue physically and mentally demanding challenges — not to prove

anything, but because challenge creates self-awareness and self growth.

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I am now in my mid-50s, and one of my strongest drivers is to show other women that life

does not diminish with age. It expands — if you are willing to engage with it.

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There is still so much possible. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

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The work I do now integrates everything I’ve learned — my academic background, my

personal experiences, and the lessons from motherhood and endurance sport.

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Be.ING mind mastery.

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