Clarens 500km Gravelist (with the tart, AKA, Sarah v Heerden)
- Ingrid Avidon
- Feb 4, 2025
- 5 min read
Clarens Gravalist Series 500 – The Tarts' official Race Report
The Gravalist 500km ultra-bikepacking challenge is an unsupported endurance ride that pushes riders to their limits. Each route is uniquely crafted, offering a mix of rugged terrain, hazards, and breathtaking landscapes. Riders receive a GPX file two weeks before the event. The challenge can be completed in 24 hours for the bold or within three days to make the cut-off. Participants can compete solo to beat the record or ride in groups/touring mode to finish before the deadline. This is a test of endurance, strategy, and its own set of challenges and hazards that demand careful planning and preparation.
Participants:
(obtained from chat GPT)
Sarah van Heerden - The hotshot, lightweight, fast rider. Always ahead, always efficient. And always chatty. A real tart.
Ingrid – The slightly heavier (but equally determined) cycling enthusiast. Ingrid is not known for her pre-planning or attention to detail. Except when it comes to fancy dress. On occasion Ingrid has been called irresponsible.
Yikes.
I knew, from experience, that keeping up with Sarah, on a bike, would be impossible. I needed to be faster.
I therefore opted to ride my ‘fancy’ newish (OK second hand) gravel bike: a specialised Sirrius. A serious bike, bought by my husband in the USA. And hopefully not on the Shein app.
Sarah did not take kindly to my bike choice. ( whatsapp messages below).
Sarah: So tart, is it all gravel roads?
Ingrid: Yes tart, all gravel. I am going to use my gravel bike.
Sarah: FFS do not dare. I think it is only fair that we are both on MTB - you cannot be crossing the line faster than me.
A few days later:
Sarah: I gave your gravel bike some thought and my thought was what a bloody bitch. I am never going to be able to keep up with you and that is not kind or nice - so what I will do is load you like a pack horse make sure you have a big enough camel back for both of us and perhaps I will pack extra padkos that I will load your pockets with. This is like saying to a Rav 4 come and do a 4 x 4 track but I am driving a Toyota Land Cruiser - not cool tart just not nice and not kind.
Ingrid: Tart, you have a hard tail mtb. It's super light. My gravel bike is very entry level and probably not even equivalent to your bike. Plus my longest ride to date is 100km. Plus, I weigh 64 kg. You prob weigh 50kg. That's 14Kg. So basically u are a super light skinny fast bitch. I am so going to ride my gravel bike.
Sarah, horrified by my perceived equipment advantage, immediately modified her already super-light hardtail, swapping in a rigid fork and top-tier gravel tyres to even the playing field.
All we had to do now, was pitch up and ride. That we did.
6 AM. We met the other 3 riders at the Clarens square. Grant van der Wal, Jacques du Preez and racing snake, Piet Laubscher They were all riding hard tail MTBs with front suspension. Not to fat shame anyone, but their tyres were fatter than our tyres. Oh dear, I thought, that's gonna be hard work for them. The two tarts are gonna fly.
The ride started smoothly. The first tar section was a dream, fast and effortless. We congratulated ourselves on our bike selection.
The Gravel Begins – reality check
My first little upset was when my chain got properly jammed between the frame and cassette. Properly jammed. We spent fruitless time trying to unjam the chain. Luckily a friendly farmer with a very nice, big and useful spanner came to the rescue. We were very impressed. Our relief was short lived.
As with spanners, gravel is not created equally. The Western Cape gravel is relatively smooth and well maintained. The OFS gravel is rocky and bumpy, with a sharp shale-like surface. The kind that cuts into the side wall of rubber tyres. Especially those belonging to a slightly heavier tart riding on slightly under inflated tyres. The mechanical chaos began.
We did try to repair the first flat tyre. But sadly, we soon ran out of our supply of bombs and slime.
Enter Grant and Jacques, two very kind co-riders who were unaware that they had just become the official mechanics of the Tarts.
(It is best now to image a flower patterned curtain that has been drawn across a screen).
The next four hours were spent with brief episodes of glorious cycling interspersed with the two gentlemen plugging and slimming and bombing both my tyres. We used my spare tube. We used Sarah's spare tube. Just when we thought all was lost Grant offered me his very fancy white tube. It looked like it came with an insurance policy. It worked. I was mortified, apologetic but very relieved. I offered my kidney as compensation.
My woes continued. The endless road vibration was not only physically punishing, but it loosened the screws of my bottle cages. It was not long before the screws and bolts were gone and the cages were set free. My extreme light suffered the same fate. The front lens section was also gone. I made a mental note to check the arrangements of my internal organs and my teeth. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I don't have dental or other implants of interest,as they too would have been gone. Luckily Grant now seemed not too interested in my kidney as it had moved down to my left buttock.
We eventually reached Zenekal. The one in the OFS. Although it felt like we had indeed ridden to Senegal. It was now 10pm. The meal at Steers was divine. We ate it while sitting on the kerb in the garage forecourt. The heavens opened up, lightning crashed and my back tyre slowly went flat. Responsibly we elected to sleep the night in Senekal.
The final Stretch – The Ride of Shame
A new day. Well sort of…. I managed to inflate the tyre at the garage with my trusty adapter. After we left Bethlehem my back tyre continued deflating. We had no more tubes, bombs or lube. The ride of shame commenced. A shortcut back to Clarens was inevitable.
Final Verdict
Despite mechanical failures, punctures and rearranged organs, Sarah and I had an absolute blast. We laughed through the chaos, helped Jacques and Grant develop crucial problem-solving skills, and proved that even in utter disaster, fun can be had.
Conclusion & Next Steps
What’s next?
1.A new adventure (preferably with fewer punctures).
2.More mechanical training (or at least better luck).
3. Ingrid to reconsider her kidney donation policies.
4. A nice new bike. Ha ha ha.
5. Sarah to continue her role as chief feeder, chatter-box and morale booster. And tart extraordinaire.
The gravelist rides are amazing! We will try to ride as many as possible. Thanks to Jacques and Grant for your help. We know where you live. You can run, but you can't hide.
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